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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest helping her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?